My Tribute: birthday reflections - childhood years (Year 1 to Year 12)

A friend of mine did a year by year summary of her life on her birthday a few months back, and i determined after reading that to do the same on my birthday.

I just celebrated my birthday a few days ago. In recounting the events, this exercise took on a life of its own, becoming more detailed as i went along, remembering either actual memories, or accounts told to me by those close to me.

As i reflected on the events and milestones in my life, i gave thanks to the Lord for His Hand upon my life, and the foundations of faith laid upon my life by my parents.

Year 0 - Mum gave birth to me. Her water bag burst after her own birthday celebration with her extended family, and of course my dad., and i was born the next day. From this year on, i have the privilege of celebrating my birthday together with her. Being the first child, my parents did not know better, and i only slept after many minutes of being shaken in their arms.

Year 1 - Already, i had thick unruly hair which stuck out and up (i've had more than my fair share of bad hair days. thank God for hair-conditioner which helps tame my mane today. No more bad hair days! :D).

Year 2 - My parents say i was quite bold in singing in front of relatives and friends, complete with actions. I did not like the feel of sand or grass under my feet, and would cry when placed on those surfaces.

Year 3 - Halfway through this year, my brother was born. My parents recounted that i was somewhat jealous of him. They caught me once, climbing up on the stool, leaning over the cot, and pinching him. The only reason i was caught is he cried when i pinched him. What a cry baby!

Year 4 - I started music lessons at yamaha. Very fun, got actions, and little instruments like triangle, castinets, etc. I would place all the food i want to eat on my plate, and then not be able to finish it.

Year 5 - Continued music lessons and was involved in my first concert. Started at PAP kindergarten near my place in Toa Payoh. Remember my neighbour or one of her two sons walking me to school around mid-morning as my parents were teaching in school then. After school, the two boys and i would play hide and seek under blankets stretched across chairs and tables. My brother was placed under the care of another neighbour.

Year 6 - Started piano lessons. Graduated from PAP kindergarten. Somewhere there is a photo of my graduating class. I looked pretty pale. Fainted some time after the photo-taking.

Year 7 - Started primary school near my place. Parents forgot to register me for school on the designated day. But thank God the principal who was a close friend allowed me to be slotted in. I was no. 41 in my class, 1B. Remembered sitting on those patterned woven mats.

Year 8 - Took my grade 1 piano and theory exams.

Year 9 - Took grade 3 piano and theory exams. Quit brownies which i actually liked a lot - brown uniform complete with yellow-gold scarf with a bronze-gold pin, I was an elf - all because i could not skip rope. Switched to music ensemble. No uniform. Repetitive rehearsals. Started wearing glasses?

Year 10 - Took grade 4 piano exam. Moved to Sims Drive. Took part in my school group poetry reciting competition with the hymn: Happiness is the Lord. The teacher who trained us, also my form teacher, was Christian, hence the song. Around this time, my father started teaching at a school less than 1km away from our primary school, so my brother (he attended the same school the following year) and i would hang around in his school after ours was over. Switched to English Sunday School and English service at this time. Before this was Chinese Sunday School and Hokkien Service where my grandfather was pastoring.

Year 11 - Became school prefect. Very serious about my tasks and responsibilities. I was becoming less shy too. I remember being the emcee of a school event. Took Grade 5 piano and theory exams.

Year 12 - I started to realise the significance of being born again. I became assured of my salvation, no longer putting up my hand when the altar call was given at Sunday school. I still remember all the choruses we sang in one of the classrooms of that tiny 2-classroom building between the church and the school. I made friends in sunday school whom i still am in contact with today. Life-long friends. God was becoming more real and personal to me. I had always enjoyed going to church, but it was more like part of my family routine/part of life thing. Took Grade 6 piano exam.

Other things i remember were:

Family services a few times a week 'instituted' by my father when we moved to Sims Drive. We sang hymns like What A Friend, Saviour Like A Shepherd, etc. (he had them printed out) which later evolved to include choruses like This is the Day, and other songs of praise from Hosanna Integrity (thin brown booklet, followed by blue booklet). We took turns choosing what we liked to sing. Papa would read from the Bible or follow a family devotional. We would end with prayer. Papa was quite a pray-er, and he would pray around the world for at least half hour. I remember often nodding off as we knelt around the bed. Later my brother and I persuaded him to allow us to kneel on the bed, which were softer on the knees. And with our head on the soft pillow as we knelt on the bed, we would find ourselves drifiting in and out during prayer and be woken up to echo Papa's resounding AMEN! Our hour long family service (at least 20-30 minutes prayer) would sometimes be much shorter if one of us other than Papa prayed. But Papa was not satisfied with our 3 minute prayer. Often he would continue after we stopped, and our prayer 'ordeal' took place night after night. Later mum began to love praying more and more, and our hour long services increased by half an hour to 1.5 hours! We learnt from this about family prayer and praise life, how to have a relationship with God, how God should be an important part of family life. We also learnt how to lead in praise and worship through choosing songs that were meaningful.

Being at church choir practices my parents (usually my dad sang in the choir; mum joined in after my brother and i were older) were in, were really fun. That was my introduction to choral singing and choral life.

Mum taught us to love books. When we tore a page, whether intentionally or accidentally, she would show us how to tape it back with scotch-tape, making it almost as good as new. Her teaching method; show by example, was extremely successful. I grew to love books. I did not even want to have dog eared covers or pages. I don't think that was her purpose. But that was what was instilled in me. Dog-ears in books hurt me.

I would read till i forget to eat. I had favourite books which i re-read over and over again. I remember this irked Papa.

We also played monopoly and dominoes and blackjack (no gambling allowed; we had to constantly assure papa that we will not become gambling addicts). Mum instilled in us the love of counting. Her educational pedagogy: learning through playing games.

I grew up not liking dolls - their eyes were not real. I loved soft toys - more cuddly.

I remember having sleepovers at my cousin Eunice's place and Aunty Pat's place with cousin Eunice. That was before she moved to Australia with her family. I was fascinated by my cousin, who was an interesting and humorous story teller, and she always had different games to play.

I also remember the Child Evangelism Fellowship meetings where mum invited children of neighbours and sometimes her school kids. I helped to serve drinks and also held on to BIG song prompts or BIG story books. My favourite song was Did You Ever Talk TO God Above, and my favourite story was about a little mexican boy who learnt about Jesus and introduced Him to his family.

I hated to practise the piano. it was a lonely and tedious time when i had to practise drills, songs and scales over and over again. From 11 years old, i spent hours talking to parents about wanting to stop, but they were more stubborn than i was. And they were 2 of them against 1 of me. So i completed my Grade 8 piano and theory exams at 14. My brothers were more successful in persuading them, or perhaps by that time, my parents' determination had been worn thin. But looking back, i am glad my parents made me persevere.

singing to one another...

When we come together as a body of Christ, we are exhorted to 'sing to one another'.

Colossians 3:16 (AMP)

Let the word [spoken by] Christ (the Messiah) have its home [in your hearts and minds] and dwell in you in [all its] richness, as you teach and admonish and train one another in all insight and intelligence and wisdom [in spiritual things, and as you sing] psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, making melody to God with [His] grace in your hearts.

I love how the Amplified Version puts it: "Let that the Word spoken by Christ the Messiah have its home".
As the saying goes, home is where the heart is.
Here, home is where the word is and the word is in our hearts.
And as the word of God dwells in our hearts, there is going to be an outflow... of psalms and hymns and spiritual songs... full of wisdom and intelligence and insight into spiritual things.

Some have asked me how to know the things of God, how to know spiritual things. We have to put the Word in our hearts, we have to spend time knowing His Word. Then the outflow mentioned above will naturally come.

strength to strength

Ps 84:5-7
Blessed are those whose strength is in you, who have set their hearts on pilgrimage. As they pass through the Valley of Baca, they make it a place of springs; the autumn rains also cover it with pools. They go from strength to strength, till each appears before God in Zion.

There's living water, there's refreshing for those who trust in you, who continue to seek you. They don't stay in places and situations of difficulties and challenges and sorrow. They move on, AFTER having made it a refreshing even for themselves, even for others... praying and believing in a visitation of the Lord, an encounter with Him. Even in such times, they grow in strength!

restoration

i was prompted to do a word study on the word 'restore' in the bible, and discovered there were so many things God restored:

Old Testament
שׁוּב
Hebrew - shûb (read as shoob)
= to turn back, deliver (again), recall, recompense, recover, refresh, relieve, render (again), repent, requite, rescue, restore, retrieve, (cause to, make to) return, reverse, reward...

• health: flesh, hand,
  
• property in terms of crops, homes, lands
  
• cities and towns
• rule/leadership/kingdom/dominion
• life
• altar/temple of the Lord
  
• soul
• the joy of our salvation
• relationship with God; to be in His presence
  
• the nation
• comfort
• devastated places
• sanity
  
• family
• finances
• social status
• righteous state
• restore twice (Zechariah 9:12)

New Testament
ἀποκαθίστημι
Greek - apokathistēmi (read as ap-ok-ath-is'-tay-mee)
= to reconstitute (in health, home or organization): - restore (again).

• sight to the blind - Matthew 9:30. Mark 8:25
  
• withered hand became whole - Matthew 12:13; Mark 3:5; Luke 6:10
  

καταρτίζω
Greek - katartizō (read as kat-ar-tid'-zo)
= to complete thoroughly, that is, repair (literally or figuratively) or adjust: - fit, frame, mend, (make) perfect (-ly join together), prepare, restore.

• restore from sin - Galatians 6:1

στηρίζω
Greek - stērizō (read as stay-rid'-zo)
= to set fast, that is, (literally) to turn resolutely in a certain direction, or (figuratively) to confirm: - fix, (e-) stablish, stedfastly set, strengthen.

• restore to strength in the midst of suffering - 1 Peter 5:10
• 
  

The Lord gives everyone such hope in life. No matter what we have gone through, He loves so much, He is willing to restore us...that we may be whole again in every way - spirit, soul, body!

peace and joy from within

Hubby and I were spending some time in prayer before my bedtime last night. i sleep a good couple of hours before he does. :D

Sometimes we pray for a good 30-40 minutes or more, but yesterday, after about 10-12 minutes, there was a sense of such peace in His presence, so we kept quiet for a while and just enjoyed His presence. Joy just bubbled forth from my spirit. We turned to each other and hugged, and just then a half-remembered chorus rose up from my spirit:

And i will run to You
To Your Word of truth
Not by might, not by power
But by the Spirit of God

These words brought such comfort to me. His Word of truth is full of wisdom and life and spirit. The Word of God is my homing device - a mechanism in a guided missile (that is me - i'm guided by the Holy Spirit) which guides the missile, to my objective or target, either by signals or an internal homing device. How apt a metaphor. Signs from the word of God or my spirit in communion with the Holy Spirit.

I then tried to sleep, humming the portion i remembered, but soon i was out of bed and onto the internet searching for the words of the whole song. There's a you tube video - 7:55 - of Darlene Zschech leading worship with this song which i worshiped along...

Then i lay down to sleep, but again, i was too excited. i was soon up as there was such a yearning to read Isaiah - part of my daily reading. I was at Chapter 8. As my eyes searched for the place to start reading, they landed on Isaiah 8:17 (AMP)

And I will wait for the Lord... and I will look for and hope in Him.

followed by Isaiah 12:4-6 (AMP)

⁴And in that day you will say, Give thanks to the Lord, call upon His name and by means of His name [in solemn entreaty]; declare and make known His deeds among the peoples of the earth, proclaim that His name is exalted! ⁵Sing praises to the Lord, for He has done excellent things [gloriously]; let this be made known to all the earth. ⁶Cry aloud and shout joyfully, you women and inhabitants of Zion, for great in your midst is the Holy One of Israel.

Finally, I read Isaiah 55:12-13 (NKJV)

“ For you shall go out with joy, And be led out with peace;
The mountains and the hills Shall break forth into singing before you, And all the trees of the field shall clap their hands.
¹³ Instead of the thorn shall come up the cypress tree,

And instead of the brier shall come up the myrtle tree;

And it shall be to the LORD for a name,
For an everlasting sign that shall not be cut off."

Joy, peace and fruitfulness are promised when we obey the Lord and follow His plan, and our obedience will bring lasting glory and witness to His Name.


I slept, satisfied, contented.

i find you waiting

He touched my heart yet again.

I was in church worshiping the Lord, and He broke through all my defences when the words i was singing brought a vision of His waiting for me.

You are the Peace that guards my heart
My help in time of need
You are the Hope that leads me on
And brings me to my knees
For there I find You waiting
And there I find release
So with all my heart I’ll worship
And unto You I’ll sing

Chorus:
For You alone deserve all glory
For You alone deserve all praise
Father, we worship and adore You
Father, we long to see Your face

For You alone deserve all glory
For You alone deserve all praise
Father, we love You
And we worship You this day

He is waiting, all the time, for me to understand Him more, be aware of His presence, to learn of His purpose in and for me,to spend time with Him, to turn towards him.

This revelation brought me to my knees in worship.

Like the father in the story of the Prodigal Son, I see our Heavenly Father waiting. He is not angry anymore. His anger had been spent on His Son when Jesus was crucified on the cross. He sees me in Jesus, and His arms are outstretched to embrace me.

Thank you, Lord, that you are always 'there' for me. You never leave nor forsake me. I'm here for you too, to be used by you, but more than that, to love and worship you.

no mixture...without measure

Came across the following article by Joy F. Strang. Powerful message...

One day when I was driving down the highway, a song came on my CD player. Some of the phrases rang in my spirit: "I am so tired of compromising/ I am so tired of lukewarm living/ I want to go against the grain/ Set me on fire." I hit the repeat button over and over. As I listened, I was struck by the thought that many Christians today live in a state of compromise.

It hasn't always been that way. There have been times in history when the church lived by a different standard than the world and had eternal impact. During the days of the early church, for example, the new believers went straight to the marketplace after being baptized in the Spirit and declared what had happened. As far as we know from the biblical record, no one told them to do that; they just had such an intense awareness of who Jesus—glorified and risen—is that they were compelled to share it!

Even in the midst of the persecution that attended their testimonies, they could not keep silent. The Bible tells us that many were scattered to other regions, and "those who had been scattered preached the word wherever they went" (Acts 8:4, NIV). Miraculous signs followed those who believed.

What was different about the early church? I believe they had a greater revelation of who Jesus is. Some had seen and heard Him in person and witnessed His mighty miracles. Others who had not seen Him personally had heard firsthand testimonies from those who had.

But there is no lack of seeing and hearing today. We have access to the eyewitness accounts of Scripture and the Holy Spirit within and among us. Why don't we experience the realm of power that is recorded in the book of Acts? Could our lack of revelation of who Jesus is be tied to a lack of purity in heart?

I once heard a well-known leader say that God told Him, "Where there is no mixture, I will pour out my Spirit without measure." The words of Jesus recorded in Matthew 5:8 support this statement: "Blessed are the pure in heart, for they will see God." We will see God if our hearts are pure—that is, if there is no mixture in them.

A mixture is a combination of more than one element. The Spirit of God plus our carnal nature is a mixture. God's life plus the ways and ideas of the world is a mixture. God condemns such impurity: "Don't you know that friendship with the world is hatred toward God? Anyone who chooses to be a friend of the world becomes an enemy of God" (James 4:4).

The world needs to see a church—without mixture—operating in God's power. Are you willing to be one He uses for His purpose? Ask Him for a fresh revelation of who He is and begin to look at the world around you from an eternal viewpoint. Just like the believers in the early church, we as Spirit-led women are called to change the world!

be strong and very courageous

I had been praying more often since the beginning of this week, and as i waited upon the Lord especially in the early morning, and just before i sleep. My desire was that i would see the way ahead clearly, to continue to put my whole trust in the promises of the Lord, and have the strength to walk out the plan of the Lord for our lives.

At times, during these times of prayer, i would briefly wonder whether i would hear from Him, but i remember that in the Word, He says He hears me when pray according to His will (1 John 5:14-15) and when i speak in tongues, i speak mysteries to God (1 Corinthians 14:2).

For one who speaks in an [unknown] tongue speaks not to men but to God, for no one understands or catches his meaning, because in the [Holy] Spirit he utters secret truths and hidden things [not obvious to the understanding]. (AMP)

Thus i was assured that my answer would surely come, and that though my mind did not understand what i speak in tongues, my spirit being was edified (1 Corinthians 14:4 and Jude 20).

So i persevered through the week.

Isaiah 40:31 became so real to me during this week. I was literally strengthened as i waited, intertwined with the Lord. The amplified version says it well:

But those who wait for the Lord [who expect, look for, and hope in Him] shall change and renew their strength and power; they shall lift their wings and mount up [close to God] as eagles [mount up to the sun]; they shall run and not be weary, they shall walk and not faint or become tired.

In the meantime, God was showing me about the benefits of tongues. Even though i was seeking Him regarding an area in my life, I was able to pray for others. There were varied prayer assignments that arose during the week - friends in HK experiencing typhoon, people i don't know in parts of China experiencing the same typhoon which had shifted there, a friend undergoing urgent surgery, cousins' mum who had a fall and shattered her hip, church friends who experienced a series of difficulties recently, cousins' friends having marital problems.

I am not boasting about myself. If anything, i am boasting about His strength in me. When i was uncertain about my next step, i turned to Him, read the Word and was strengthened. Whilst in the process of being strengthened, still having no answers as yet in the natural, but having faith that God is with me, has heard me and will answer me, rivers of living water were flowing out from me (John 7:38).

He who believes in Me, as the Scripture has said, out of his heart will flow rivers of living water.” (NKJV)

I could still minister and encourage others in the process because throughout this personal challenge i was facing, i was still plugged into God, drawing all the more upon His grace and strength.

It was a conscious and deliberate decision on my part to take my eyes off myself and my situation and onto God, and although i won't say it was a struggle, i won't say it was a piece of cake either. What i'll say is that the Holy Spirit led me and spoke to me when i read His Word, listened to online sermons, praise and worshiped Him, and as friends shared with me.

I started hearing from Him very clearly on Friday morning regarding what is ahead. This particular minister was sharing from Joshua 1:5-9, and the words BE STRONG AND COURAGEOUS stood out.

⁵ No man shall be able to stand before you all the days of your life; as I was with Moses, so I will be with you. I will not leave you nor forsake you. ⁶ Be strong and of good courage, for to this people you shall divide as an inheritance the land which I swore to their fathers to give them. ⁷ Only be strong and very courageous, that you may observe to do according to all the law which Moses My servant commanded you; do not turn from it to the right hand or to the left, that you may prosper wherever you go. ⁸ This Book of the Law shall not depart from your mouth, but you shall meditate in it day and night, that you may observe to do according to all that is written in it. For then you will make your way prosperous, and then you will have good success. ⁹ Have I not commanded you? Be strong and of good courage; do not be afraid, nor be dismayed, for the LORD your God is with you wherever you go.” (AMP)

3 times God spoke to Joshua the same phrase, and 3 times this phrase resounded in my spirit, especially the 2nd phrase: Only be strong and VERY courageous. I was much encouraged. As i meditated on this, things begin to fit together. I don't have all my answers yet, and i certainly don't have all the steps yet. But i know the attitude i can put on because God is with me. He will never leave me nor forsake me. He is with me wherever i go. Verse 9 says clearly too that i should not be afraid nor dismayed, so i am shaking off those attitudes.

I will be strong and very courageous for my God is with me. Such blessed assurance!

revival labours

The following excerpt is taken from The Revival Labors of Charles G. Finney by Charles G. Finney

At times there was opposition to the revivals. The Lord showed Finney to leave everything to Him and go about his work. At one revival, in which Brother Nash was working with Finney, a group of young men set themselves in opposition to the work. They were like a bulwark hindering the progress of the revival.

"In this state of things," writes Finney, "Brother Nash and myself, after consultation, made up our minds that that thing must be overcome by prayer, and that it could not be reached in any other way. We therefore retired to a grove and gave ourselves up to prayer until we prevailed, and we felt confident that no power which earth or hell could interpose would be allowed permanently to stop the revival.

"The next Sabbath, after preaching morning and afternoon myself - for I did the preaching altogether and Brother Nash gave himself up almost continually to prayer - we met at five o'clock in the church for a prayer meeting. The meeting house was filled. Near the close of the meeting, Brother Nash arose, and addressed that company of young men who had joined hand in hand to resist the revival. I believe they were all there, and they sat braced up against the Spirit of God. It was too solemn for them really to make ridicule of what they heard and saw; and yet their brazen-facedness and stiff-neckedness were apparent to everybody."

"Brother Nash addressed them very earnestly, and pointed out the guilt and danger of the course they were taking. Toward the close of his address he waxed exceeding warm and said to them:"

"Now, mark me, young men! God will break your ranks in less than one week, either by converting some of you, or by sending some of you to hell. He will do this as certainly as the Lord is my God!"

"He was standing where he brought his hand down on the top of the pew before him so as to make it thoroughly jar. He sat immediately down, dropped his head, and groaned with pain."

"The house was as still as death, and most of the people held down their heads. I could see that the young men were agitated. For myself, I regretted that Brother Nash had gone so far. He had committed himself that God would either take the life of some of them, and send them to hell, or convert some of them within a week."

"However on Tuesday morning of the same week, the leader of these young men came to me in the greatest distress of mind. He was all prepared to submit; and as soon as I came to press him he broke down like a child, confessed, and manifestly gave himself to Christ."

"He then said, 'What shall I do, Mr. Finney?'"

"I replied, 'Go immediately to all your companions, and pray with them, and exhort them at once to turn to the Lord.'"

"He did so; and before the week was out, nearly if not all of that class of young men, were hoping in Christ." The Spirit of the Lord was outpoured and the revival soon went forward with great power.

mary knew!

I was leading worship at a ladies' fellowship, and was blessed by quite a few nuggets of truth from the teaching.

I've been meditating one of the statements that stood out for me: Mary knew when it was time for Jesus to do his first miracle at the wedding.

How did Mary know?

Many of us focus on the birth of Jesus and assume that the Magnificat was the only time she heard from heaven, or perhaps not even aware that God is continuing to speak to her through various events and people in her life. Still, the Magnificat shows us clearly Jesus' destiny as Messiah. The glorious song of the angelic hosts, the visits from the magi and the shepherds, as well as Joseph's supernatural encounters God's hand, all clearly pointed to Jesus' divine purpose.

We see in Luke 2:19 that all these had a strong impact on her heart, and she continued to meditate on the Words she heard and the events that have taken place.

But Mary treasured up all these things and pondered them in her heart.

On the 8th day after Jesus was born, he was presented at the temple and circumcised. Moved by the Spirit, Simeon recognised Jesus as the Messiah, and prophesied over the baby and His mother things that will take place in their lives in the future. Luke 2:33 records Joseph's and Mary's reactions to the extraordinary prophecy:

The child's father and mother marveled at what was said about him.

Anna also knew in her spirit who Jesus was, and began to preach to all.

Fast forward to Jesus at 12 years of age: He remained behind and was discussing the Word of God with the teachers. People were amazed at His answers and understanding. Here, Jesus was beginning to understand His own role as Messiah and relationship with God as Father, as evidenced by his answer in Luke 2:49 to his parents who were anxiously seeking Him:

"Why were you searching for me?" he asked. "Didn't you know I had to be in my Father's house?"

<sup>Again, it is recorded that Mary treasured these things, and perhaps in the years to come, began to understand more, although not fully, what Jesus was supposed to do:

Luke 2:50-51
50</sup>But they did not understand what he was saying to them. ⁵¹Then he went down to Nazareth with them and was obedient to them. But his mother treasured all these things in her heart.

In those interim years, where nothing much was recorded of Jesus' life except that he grew in wisdom and stature and in favour with both God and man, Mary must have continued to observe and hear from the Holy Spirit so that in John 2:5, which was after Jesus' baptism by John the Baptist, she could state boldly and firmly:

His mother said to the servants, "Do whatever he tells you."

Did she know better than Jesus? Jesus did say just before she instructed the servants that his time had not yet come.

The answer could be found in the miracle of water being turned into wine, and that was the best wine the wedding guests had tasted at the wedding.

Jesus performed his first miracle, and Mary knew His time had come. I believe she heard from the Holy Spirit.